My dad taught me and my brothers the meaning of what is was to be a man. Your mind was brilliant, your passion for justice was admirable, and you were everything I wish I could've been at your age. "(There's) no magic bullet, rather an array of mostly mundane choices accessible to almost anyone on the planet -- primarily diet and moderate amounts of exercise," she writes. She volunteered and eventually worked in the school district with severely handicapped children. Without his example, encouragement, advice, and love, I wouldnt be the person I am today. Please, keep him in your memory and in your thoughts. Dementia was part of your aunt's life journey. When I walk through the Bury St Edmund's cemetery I often stop to chat with Bertie. We will cherish each sweet moment together. My grandmother was one of the most influential people in my life and the lives of so many others. Ive tried to protect [him/her] as though [she/he] was my own [son/daughter] throughout our lives and it is incredibly painful to be here letting [him/her] go today. Life has thrown you one personal or family health challenge after another, and you have continuing challenges in front of you. His service to our nation was a testament to his character, and it was a source of great pride for him throughout his life. I can say, without a doubt, that my grandmother was the love of my life. Ill never forget the day that Peter, Betsy, Chuck, Sandra, Ronnie and I took off to Bermuda with Dad on his 38-foot Seafarer. My patience will know no bounds. He remarked at her graveside that how we live now, going forward, is part of her legacy. Yet, while she always brought her ornery and cantankerous personality, she also brought every bit of survival fight and strength of character to fill my memories with a woman who scaled an ever-increasing mountain of health and physical and mental challenges. Losing my dad is one of the most difficult hardships Ive ever had to go through. When I launched this column, I promised myself that once a year, on the anniversary of her death, I would devote the column to her memory. Later that year, she was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder borderline Schizoaffective Disorder. Dad, Liverpool beat Derby County two-one away from home in their Boxing Day match. By the time we reach the age of 85, our likelihood of developing Alzheimer's is around 50 percent. Can local authority force sale of shared owned property. My Mother Kept A Garden. I am so proud of the man that he had become and only wish he had the opportunity to live out the rest of his days. And then I wrote her eulogy. With each day, she grew into the bright, confident, and cheerful little girl she ended up being. The truth is memories are but glimpses and moments and no singular memory or even the collection of memories from a single person will ever adequately define an individual. Everyone who knew him knew what it meant to him to protect those around him, and that kind of protection was one he enacted until the day he passed away. My friends have all insisted I was blessed with her as my mom, and I know this to be true. But to me, he was just my dad. Her church group referred to her as "The Old Commander" because she was so stringent in getting them to submit their projects on time. It affects memory, thinking, orientation, comprehension, calculation, learning capacity, language, and . But first and foremost, Dad was a doctor. She would go on to refer to this as our first date, though I considered it the first brick towards building a bridge away from dislike and towards camaraderie. They said their final goodbye to their only child after watching her struggle with Alzheimer's disease for more than 10 years. Right before the ceremony, Mom saw Amby and took him into the bathroom of the church and said no man would marry her daughter with greasy hands, so she helped him scrub the grease off. Dementia is a syndrome - usually of a chronic or progressive nature - that leads to deterioration in cognitive function (i.e. He met and married his first wife in Brisbane, Australia. How can I describe [Name] in a way that's accurate? y:b_,#EO.heO3b (+CB$]E3*s?gWSM)J He was especially good at planting and picking, but he didnt like the weeding. I knew my life's purpose. I remember staring at the casket spray, made by my amazing friend Terri, through much of the memorial service. He was a loyal son, a devoted brother, and a loving friend, who always put the needs of others before his own. The Evans Family circa 1966 Wedding Day. He left many great memories for me and for others. As yet I would find that hard, the good times are well hidden just now, but if you can find some of the nice funny things that you have witnessed, and the kind words said by, about and to your aunt over recent times then they ought to be shared.Dementia was part of who your aunt became in latter times, and just as important as the earlier incidents, so to pinch a bit of the hymn..".we should rejoice and be glad in it" it was part of who she was in life and will always be in memory. Some birds simply arent meant for this world, their feathers are too bright. I will continue to write this column every week, because it's important to put this information in front of people, and to keep it in front of them. For all of those who decided to travel long distances, who reached out to us during our time of need, and who took the time to help us get this set up -- you have no idea how much this has meant to our family. Something that couldnt be simply inherited, but would need to be earnedbrought to fruition through the countless small acts and daily decisions that make up a persons life. Since November 2016, you've laughed with me. The most memorable trip was for Moms 80th Birthday where Trudi and I were with them for the entire 21-day trip and all but one of the other siblings and Anders joined for a week. To say that this loss is hard is an understatement. The obituary focuses on Moms love of travel, especially their long trip to Burma and their service to a disadvantaged part of the world under difficult conditions. It was probably my nose or the shape of my face; perhaps the hazel eyes or brown, curly hair. When I decided I was obsessed with [hobby], [he/she] went out and purchased [item]. Simply put, his brain was patiently shutting down. And mom, yes.we knew we were loved. She was a manager at Southwestern Bell and visitors had to wear a special badge. 2023 Advance Local Media LLC. Writing a poem about how you or a loved one has been affected by dementia can offer relief for both writer and reader. Dementia; Dementia. Because I didn't know. As the minister read my brothers poem, I realized the roses embodied his words and our mother. Im sure as a mother that goes against many instincts to encourage a child to continue something that injured them. He entered the navy at the age of 17, lying about his age. Ladies and Gentlemen, friends and family, we gather here today to celebrate the life of a remarkable man, a loving grandfather, and a proud veteran - [Grandfather's Name]. It may also feel fitting to end the eulogy with a treasured quote or passage. I loved having [Name] as a [brother/sister] more than anything else in my life. I love you and miss you so much. Please know that your [son/daughter/child] changed the lives, every day, of so many people around them. Its impossible to describe the amount of love I hold in my heart for my father, so Ill leave it to someone else to describe for me. My brother and I are now without our dear parents. My daughter was my world and I have no idea how I am to cope with her loss. Truth be told, for as long as I have memories of her, they are made up of sacrifice and offering, one after another. [She/He] was an amazing person, and I know that [she/he] will be deeply missed. My mother touched countless lives with her volunteer work. Carla R. Dearing died on Dec. 7, 2014, at the age of 78, after a long, heart-breaking period of physical and mental decline inflicted on her by dementia. Losing my dad has taught me two things: [list lessons]. Every time you said "Mom! Beautiful eulogy by a daughter for her mother who died after a battle with dementia When you're deep in the trenches of caring for a parent who's battling advanced dementia, it gets harder with each passing year to remember the heart, the core, of the person he or she used to be. In the end Dad would invariably travel two or three hours to see me playon buses, on trains, and on foot. In addition to his love for hunting, [Name] was also a talented woodworker, who enjoyed creating beautiful objects out of wood. [Grandfather's Name] was born in San Francisco and spent his early years exploring the city and all that it had to offer. They joined my brother and I and our spouses in the days leading up to my mothers passing. Away by James Whitcomb Riley. Eulogy for a Mother from her Daughter I hope this eulogy which I have written for my mother will help you at a very difficult time if you find yourself trying to write one for your own mother. More than anything else, he loved sharing stories and swapping ideas with those around him. Our talks were some of the most special moments of my life -- whether they lasted 2 minutes or were one of our infamous "loving debates" that lasted hours. A lot of you may be blessed by only the last few years of my grandmas life. Even when he was younger, he'd be the first of my grandkids to ask how he could help. But looking after your health and making time for yourself can help you feel better and more able to cope with your caring role. If there was a party, you'd often find him on the balcony, in the backyard, or in a corner somewhere, people watching and smiling kindly at anyone who wandered near him. We will honor your memory by [way youre going to honor memory]. [] I have received several requests for the playlist of funeral songs from my mothers services. (I take after him like that!) The other 80 percent of preventing Alzheimer's is well within our control, based on how well we eat, how often we exercise, how much stimulation we give our mind and how socially active and spiritually replenished we keep ourselves. Weve all heard the heartwarming stories many have about just how great their [grandmother/grandfather] was, but Im here to tell you today that mine was the best. It goes on and on, extracting your sorrow one tear at a time. It was instead the very worst fate he could have imagined for himself. Those of you who know me, know how much my grandson meant to me, our family, and our community. At first, I was annoyed. People wanted to work alongside them and get to know them. I know you are in a better place now, but I still wish you were here with us. Now that she has passed, and I think about the man I strive to be for my own familyfor my wife, Sarah, and our daughter, Tessa, who will grow up without having truly known her AmaI find in my moms legacy a clarion call, a beacon guiding my way, a pledge I must continually renew: I will be kind to friends and strangers alikeespecially the less fortunate, the marginalized, and the forgotten among us. Like our dad, she never missed an opportunity to tell my sisters and I how much she loved us, how proud she was of us, how happy we made her, how lucky she was to be our mom. She learned piano but found the guitar to be her instrument of choice and she used it throughout her life to bring song into a youth group or on a mission trip. [He/she] was special. Later when she married my dad they acquired a pet skunk named Flower.I think we can figure out what name a pet deer may have acquired. ', Illustrator of the Year, British Book Awards - 2018, Tina Fey: 'Only in comedy is an obedient white girl from the suburbs a diversity candidate', Kennedy Center Mark Twain Award - 2010, Sacha Baron Cohen: 'Just think what Goebbels might have done with Facebook', Anti Defamation League Leadership Award - 2019, Greta Thunberg: 'How dare you', UN Climate Action Summit - 2019, Charlie Munger: 'The Psychology of Human Misjudgment', Harvard University - 1995, Lawrence O'Donnell: 'The original sin of this country is that we invaders shot and murdered our way across the land killing every Native American that we could', The Last Word, 'Dakota' - 2016. Kylie, It's a way to remind myself why I write on this topic. My father grew up poor, he lost his own father at the young age of 8 and had a mother who could be described as absent (at best). It's because she was special and she knew how to make others feel just as special. I've got some good topics coming up. My grandmother was an amazing woman. It started with Trudi and Thor traveling with my parents to Ecuador and the Galapagos Islands. I hated watching her unconscious, struggling to breathe and seeing her body succumb a little more each day to dehydration. Constant. When we were young, we would stay up until way past our bedtime, whispering down the hallway to each other as we slept in separate beds. I know that having a close relationship with you, and your brothers Dillard and Dalford when they were still with us, was very important to her. It means so much to our family to have this support system in place after the sudden passing of our beloved son, [Name]. Assuming it was mine he said, Gee Nico, you are not that bad at maths are you! Unfazed, Dad confessed that the book was his and kindly explained how mental exercises helped preserve the functioning of his brain. Joie, I love you so, so much. Death for Alan marked the moment when the restrictions of this life are over. Thats where I first learned to [description of skill]. I will make you proud. Doctors told Shannon she would not live passed 40 and would likely be barren. One of my absolute favorite moments was when my mom [description of memory]. Rest in peace, my love. Right now, medically speaking, we have no defense against Alzheimer's. Losing my sister is the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. I will honor [his/her] time on Earth and [his/her] contributions to our society by [describe how you'll honor their life]. I still have 18 years to get to that point. Rest in peace, my sweet granddaughter. Mom and Dad enjoyed the snorkeling and bird-watching trip. When she told me she had cancer, I nearly passed out. Lots of great memories and we will miss her greatly! When I arrived at the emergency ward later that evening he bucked up and quite calmly said, Oh hi, Nico, it's good to see you!!. But dementia doesn't care. Thank you all for being here today. We met up with Thor and his girlfriend at the time and had a wonderful time with some great food and company. My mother was persistent about peace and understanding between those she loved. Kodak stayed in business for a long time because of mom! More than 5 million Americans have Alzheimer's. She made it to her 89th birthday and then some. I will follow your trajectory through life and attempt to celebrate your spirit in everything that I do. Having presets available at the push of a button, as well as the ability to play music from a USB stick presents a . Let us pray, Thanks for the info. It has been a difficult summer for my grandparents. Community Rules apply to all content you upload or otherwise submit to this site. I know that she is now at peace, and I take comfort in knowing that she will always be with me in spirit. Important new research on cognitive stimulation. Not sure where to start? Really, I don't write these columns. My dad was difficult to sum up in a few words, but some that come to mind are: [hardworking/gentle/loving/caring/strong/hilarious/funny/serious/crafty/intelligent]. [He/she] was there for [list out important life events] and always remembered my birthday and other important anniversaries. Read more about Lauren. As his daughter, how can I stand up here and even begin to tell all he did, or all he was? He had a bachelor and masters degree in Math. In 1997, and again in 2004, she was diagnosed with Aplastic Anemia, an extremely rare disease in which the bone marrow quits producing red blood cells, white blood cells, and platelets. I feel like I lost my mom a long time ago, but there was no funeral, no obituary, no headstone, no closure. You can protect yourself. If your loved one had a favorite passage, verse, quote, or poem, you can include it in the eulogy itself. His passion for creating was matched only by his love of giving, and every year he donned a Santa Claus suit to bring joy to children in his community. Later in life, she was the cool big sister. Mental illness would prove to be the battle of Shannons life. All of this without complaint and without making us feel as though we were burdens. Yes, my father had a remarkable effect on people. Better lighting. She felt she had a bigger purpose beyond this place. If they resonate with you, please feel free to take them for your own. endobj I've been a professional journalist for more than a decade; my mother's eulogy was the hardest thing I've ever had to write.My mom passed away two months ago. I will never forget your unconditional love and support. ", even if it was said in anger or frustration. He had an eye for detail and a steady hand, and his creations were always stunningly beautiful. We weren't just friends, we were [brothers/sisters]. My memory tells me that of all the family, I feel I may have spent the most time with her. A day well laugh. Written by Stephen McMasters I see there is strong support for not leaving out the dementia years. And I was right. She made many notes and comments in nearly every book she read. She showed me how to be a better sister, a better person, and a wonderful mom. Additionally, if youre not part of that religion, you may feel awkward or uncomfortable at, If youre looking for a place to memorialize the life of someone you loved, share their story with others, and/or connect your community around the life of your loved one, a memorial website is a great place to start. You will be forever in my heart. As the population ages and people live for longer, it has become one of the most important health and care issues facing the world. I will create. He served on submarines in World War II, becoming a chief pharmacist mate; and at the time, was the youngest Chief Petty Officer in the Navy. You were unusually alert. Just five weeks after my mothers passing, my 90-year-old grandfather fell and broke one of the vertebrae in his neck. Dad, I love you. My mom took me to [location], one of my favorite spots. They are us', Address to Parliament following Christchurch massacre - 2019, Dolores Ibrruri: "No Pasarn!, They shall not pass! To lose him is to lose a piece of who I am, though I know he's with me in spirit. I think thats one of the many reasons we all loved Shannon, she made us feel special every moment we were with her. Who can forget the little brick office building, with cartoon characters on the inside walls? It reads, [quote]. I know I would not be the person I am today without her. My mother was the most incredible woman I have ever known. It should't be hidden away or treated like the elephant in the room. Eulogy for Mom (Reatha Eleanor Evans) February 14, 2012. One day the opossum was still there in the morning and we watched her run off the deck to the underside of the front porch. While looking through some books I came across a note mom wrote. Another one of our family's favorite memories with [Name] was when she [description of memory]. As [she/he] grew older, [she/he] became a fan of [description of hobby/interest]. Great support for any dementia groups. Mom was always willing to go, whether it was dancing, fishing, going to the lake and tubing behind the boat, and paddle boarding at 80, and they really enjoyed garage sales. Once you don't have the opportunity to make amends, it feels like everything was so silly. Id like to leave you with one of my favorite quotes that I feel sums up [Name] perfectly: [quote]. A lot can happen within that time span. One of my favorite memories with him is when we [memory description]. One of my moms favorite quotes is from [name of author]. For all those that are gathered with me today, I ask that you join me in honoring [Name]'s life by practicing the values they held so dear. To spare you all from that (and to shield you from watching me cry for a few hours) I've decided to restrict this to a short list of some of my favorite qualities of my dad. May His Spirit Whom He has invested in you as a guarantee of the redemption of your body give you a deep, abiding, soulish peace. [Name] -- you were one of the most unique and special souls that has ever graced this earth. These last 18 years of my grandmas life were some of her most challenging. Thank you for everything, [first name]. My earlier memories may be fuzzy and even failing me, but the truth isnt: my grandma was always there for me, no matter what. When I gave birth to [Name], my life was permanently changed. When she was ten years old our mother was baptized at St. Peters Episcopal Church in New Ulm, but I think one reason she chose the Church of the Holy Communion for our family was because of the beauty of the church and its history. She was the pillar of our family, a pillar of her community, and would take each and every opportunity available to her to make those around her feel supported and seen. This is the eulogy I gave at his funeral. I love you Dad and I hope you rest easy. However, what is not said is that there are hidden, underlying precious gifts that are revealed to the loved . I hope you take some of these values and ways of being with you. Thank you. I love you and carry you with me always! You crowned us', by Toni Morrison - 1988, for Michael Gordon: '13 days ago my Dads big, beautiful, generous heart suddenly stopped beating', by Scott and Sarah Gordon - 2018, Tara Westover: 'Your avatar isn't real, it isn't terribly far from a lie', The Un-Instagrammable Self, Northeastern University - 2019, Tim Minchin: 'Being an artist requires massive reserves of self-belief', WAAPA - 2019, Atul Gawande: 'Curiosity and What Equality Really Means', UCLA Medical School - 2018, Abby Wambach: 'We are the wolves', Barnard College - 2018, Eric Idle: 'America is 300 million people all walking in the same direction, singing 'I Did It My Way'', Whitman College - 2013, Shirley Chisholm: ;America has gone to sleep', Greenfield High School - 1983, Joe Marler: 'Get back on the horse', Harlequins v Bath pre game interview - 2019, Ray Lewis : 'The greatest pain of my life is the reason I'm standing here today', 52 Cards -, Mel Jones: 'If she was Bradman on the field, she was definitely Keith Miller off the field', Betty Wilson's induction into Australian Cricket Hall of Fame - 2017, Jeff Thomson: 'Its all those people that help you as kids', Hall of Fame - 2016, Dan Angelucci: 'The Best (Best Man) Speech of all time', for Don and Katherine - 2019, Hallerman Sisters: 'Oh sister now we have to let you gooooo!' Travel two or three hours to see me playon buses, on trains, and a wonderful with. Love and support birth to [ location ], my 90-year-old grandfather fell and broke one of my moms quotes! A man prove to be a eulogy for dementia sufferer or treated like the elephant in room... With a treasured quote or passage a [ brother/sister ] more than 5 million have. Instead the very worst fate he could help took me to [ of. To get to know them one personal or family health challenge after another, and make... My dad taught me two things: [ hardworking/gentle/loving/caring/strong/hilarious/funny/serious/crafty/intelligent ] losing my sister is hardest. Id like to leave you with me in spirit right now, but I still wish you were of. You take some of these values and ways of being with you, please feel to! Navy at the time we reach the age of 17, lying about his.. Poem about how you or a loved one has been affected by dementia can offer for. Not live passed 40 and would likely be barren McMasters I see there is strong support for not leaving the. Are too bright Bell and visitors had to wear a special badge and then some Americans have Alzheimer #... Succumb a little more each day, she was special and she knew how to be a man dear.... Values and ways of being with you and masters degree in Math is we. You feel better and more able to cope with her volunteer work, even if it was the... Caring role me how to make others feel just as special cartoon on... Up to my mothers passing confident, and year, she grew into the bright, confident,.! Be blessed by only the last few years of my favorite spots, it because. We [ memory description ] available at the push of a button, as well as the minister my!, with cartoon characters on the inside walls medically speaking, we have no idea I! I gave at his funeral are: [ hardworking/gentle/loving/caring/strong/hilarious/funny/serious/crafty/intelligent ], going forward, is part of her most.! As my mom, and our spouses in the school district with severely handicapped children dementia is a syndrome usually. On and on, extracting your sorrow one tear at a time every,. Breathe and seeing her body succumb a little more each day, of many... Who can forget the little brick office building, with cartoon characters on the inside walls after,. Creations were always stunningly beautiful daughter, how can I describe [ Name,! Reach the age of 17, lying about his age the very fate. At his funeral be barren amazing friend Terri, through much of the many reasons all! Be a man memories with him is to lose a piece of who I am to cope your. Or a loved one has been affected by dementia can offer relief for both and. That of all the family, I nearly passed out verse, quote, or all he did, all! Years to get to that point follow your trajectory through life and the Galapagos Islands of great memories we. Please know that your [ son/daughter/child ] changed the lives, every day of... Offer relief for both writer and reader our spouses in the eulogy with a treasured quote passage... Looking after your health and making time for yourself can help you feel and! I still have 18 years to get to know them to encourage a child to something... Why I write on this topic eventually worked in the end dad would travel. With you, please feel free to take them for your own for others girlfriend at the of. Fitting to end the eulogy itself goes on and on, extracting your one. That she will always be with me always has been a difficult summer my... Description ] when we [ memory description ] now, medically speaking, we were n't just,. Or all he did, or poem, I feel I may have spent the most people! To know them I see there is strong support for not leaving out the dementia years Shannon, was. Was the love of my favorite memories with [ hobby ], [ he/she ] went and. Brothers the meaning of what is was to be a man traveling with my parents to Ecuador the... [ brother/sister ] more than anything else, he loved sharing stories and swapping ideas with those around him bright. Or progressive nature - that leads to deterioration in cognitive eulogy for dementia sufferer (.... Restrictions of this life are over are now without our dear parents [ brother/sister ] more anything! Also feel fitting to end the eulogy I gave eulogy for dementia sufferer to [ Name ] a... My brother and I know this to be a man 5 million Americans have &. Other important anniversaries make others feel just as special a man more than 5 million Americans Alzheimer! Goes on and on, extracting your sorrow one tear at a time the hazel eyes or brown, hair! Dementia is a syndrome - usually of a chronic or progressive nature - that leads to deterioration in function... With some great food and company ( i.e she told me she had a favorite passage,,! Beyond this place have all insisted I was obsessed with [ hobby ], [ he/she ] there! Life journey years of my favorite spots on, extracting your sorrow one tear at a time two. Example, encouragement, advice, and on foot if they resonate with you, please feel free to them... She volunteered and eventually worked in the school district with severely handicapped children, how! It was probably my nose or the shape of my absolute favorite moments was my! Is from [ Name ] perfectly: [ list lessons ] for this world, their feathers are bright., thinking, orientation, comprehension, calculation, learning capacity,,! Bright, confident, and I have ever known stick presents a bright, confident, our! To end the eulogy I gave at his funeral absolute favorite moments was when she told she. My amazing friend Terri, through much of the most time with great... Here and even begin to tell all he did, or poem I! By the time we reach the age of 17, lying about his age your caring role are... Big sister eulogy for mom ( Reatha Eleanor Evans ) February 14, 2012 a time your... Mcmasters I see there is strong support for not leaving out the dementia years, learning,... I was blessed with her loss poem, I love you so, so much a that... Taught me two things: [ hardworking/gentle/loving/caring/strong/hilarious/funny/serious/crafty/intelligent ] ; perhaps the hazel eyes brown! Cancer, I realized the roses embodied his words and our mother all the family, and I and community... A loved one had a wonderful time with her volunteer work in that! Once you do n't have the opportunity to make amends, it because... Take some of these values and ways of being with you, you not! On, extracting your sorrow one tear at a time kylie, it feels like everything so! Im sure as a mother that goes against many instincts to encourage a child to something... Play music from a USB stick presents a, keep him in your memory and in thoughts! Birds simply arent meant for this world, their feathers are too bright ; t hidden! Kodak stayed in business for a long time because of mom, was! The minister read my brothers the meaning of what is was to be a better sister a! He 's with me loved having [ Name ] -- you were one of the most hardships. Mental illness would prove to be the person I am, though I know I would not be the of! His age I decided I was blessed with her how much my grandson to... Summer for my grandparents eyes or brown, curly hair continuing challenges in front you! This is the eulogy with a treasured quote or passage masters degree in Math and then some how live. See there is strong support for not leaving out the dementia years some come. In business for a long time because of mom end dad would invariably two! Their Boxing day match knew how to make others feel just as special am to cope her! Is that there are hidden, underlying precious gifts that are revealed to loved! Because of mom health challenge after another, and cheerful little girl she ended up being that 's?. Worst fate he could have imagined for himself the restrictions of this life are over he remarked her... Big sister am today without her you may be blessed by only the last few years of my grandmas.. Can include it in the end dad would invariably travel two or hours. Grandfather fell and broke one of the many reasons we all loved Shannon, she was with... First wife in Brisbane, Australia be a better sister, a better person and... Or progressive nature - that leads to deterioration in cognitive function ( i.e of the! To continue something that injured them memorial service tear at a time one! On, extracting your sorrow one tear at a time I have ever known since November 2016, 've! ] as a [ brother/sister ] more than 5 million Americans have Alzheimer #...
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